Clarity and Confusion

I have had clarity in my plans for my Masters since almost day one. There was a hiccup after Stacia spoke to us last fall where I thought my focus on nature and young students was perhaps not my passion. I had concerns, until a fellow classmate talked me off of the ledge of confusion and back onto solid ground. Since that hiccup, I have been clear. I have taken my students outdoors, reflected on their activities, recorded conversations and discussed my ideas with fellow teachers and administrators. My goal has been to create a guide to help urban/inner city teachers of Kindergarten/Grade 1 students get outdoors and utilize the nature found in their communities. I focussed my bibliography last summer on technology with young children with a plan to link technology to the outdoor play activities that every child should have. I wrote my original research folder with my outdoor focus and I had my plan in mind with every step I took.

Last night, we had our break out room time in 515, and I had this shocking realization from the nowhere, that I had written it up wrong. That my thought process was not where it should be and my research topic was written from the wrong perspective.

My original idea for a guide is not the problem. I did however look at my topic of Environmental Education, and I realized that getting kids in urban centers out into nature wasn’t Environmental Education, but Self-Regulation. I am not talking about Self-Regulated Learning, but behaviours. The simple fact I realized is: my students are practicing their self-regulation when we are outside in nature. I know that play and nature are integral to the development of children. I know that teachers are concerned about taking children outside during instructional hours. I know that I get asked questions on how I cover curriculum while taking kids outside. I know that I still want to help teachers get outdoors with their students.But I also know, it is not about Environmental Education or Stewardship.

Today, however,  I spent an hour sitting in front of the UVic Library site pondering search terms and coming up blank. It feels almost like starting anew. I know I don’t have to begin completely again, but I have to find some time to sit down and really think about where I am going. It almost feels like a period of letting go.I am not a person who can switch gears from a plan quickly; I need to think, and let it all come.  I know the members of my fabulous cohort will have advice and I welcome it. I realize that I need to talk again with Valerie, organize a meeting with the librarians, and take down the big chart in the hallway where I have mapped out my plan. I’m back to my previous mantra of “Breathe. It will all be okay.”

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3 thoughts on “Clarity and Confusion

  1. Mardelle says:

    I had a similar Revelation just a week or so ago. Storytelling is at the heart of my focus. I was shoving tech in, and it was rubbing me the wrong way. It felt intrusive, not really what I was seeing as important. It might be embedded in the project, but it can’t drive it. Once I let that go, and focused on the power of story I found the peices of the puzzle click. Still sooooooo many peices missing, but I can see more of the edges. Thanks for this post – sharing your brave shift.

  2. […] is thanks to Liane’s brave post about Clarity and Confusion that I feel brave enough to admit that I am still feeling murky about my Lit Review and project […]

  3. […] behind, and had a moment of utter doubt in my topic, followed by what I thought was a moment of “Clarity”. It wasn’t as clear as I […]

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