Sounds dramatic, doesn’t it? I’ll preface this post with: I AM FINE. I really am. I am just having an emotional, dramatic response to something today because I am, well, an emotional, dramatic person.
I found out today that my immune system is “attacking” my thyroid. Not life ending. Not even life changing. But still, I am having an emotional, dramatic response. You see, my immune system already took out my pancreas 33 years ago, and the diabetes affected my retinas. Now, the immune system is targeting my thyroid. This apparently happens to a percentage of Type 1 Diabetics. I got this instead of neuropathy or kidney disease. I’d rather have thyroid issues than those other things.
In my dramatic, over-emotional head, this feels big though. I tend to internalize all my health issues. Growing up with what was called, “a life threatening” disease affected me. It has caused panic whenever I feel a lump. It has forced me to realize that when I get a chest cold, it could turn into pneumonia. I have to be aware of how I feel 24/7. That is my reality. But I didn’t see this one coming.
My gentle doctor asked me if I was more tired lately, but I have attributed that to teaching K/1, being a union activist, going on strike and starting a Masters degree. He asked if I sometimes feel muddled and unclear. I again attributed that to the reasons I was tired. He asked if I was putting on weight. Well, d’uh, I like to eat carbs and my only real physical activity is chasing 5 and 6 year olds around. Apparently, all of this could be because my thyroid isn’t working right.
My thyroid will never be what it was. Neither will my pancreas. I’ll add taking pills to the list of things I do daily to keep my quality of life good. It’s not a big thing. It’s not going to kill me and it’s just a pill every day. But right now, for today, it’s a big thing. It’s an adjustment. It’s something else to read up on and be aware of.
Today, I will process and somehow writing this out makes it a little better.