People say that change is a good thing. I agree. Change is great….. For those people who think it is a good thing. For me, change is big, scary and causes panic attacks. I avoid change. I enjoy my happy, little existence in my cluttered, odd home. I like knowing what is around the bend. I relish in continuity and stability.
Except that my life is changing. Now. And it is going to change more. Granted, some of the change is self-imposed, and some of it is beyond my control. My administrator of many years is retiring this year. He has been a supporter of my professional growth, encouraged me and helped me when I decided to make the change in teaching assignments. He is leaving our school and I have no idea who is replacing him. The thought of that terrifies me. It sends my heart racing, and the butterflies in my stomach go on high alert.
But I have also realized that I am stuck. Stuck in a secure, routine place and a small section of my soul has been screaming at me to get out of this deep rut. I have spent 2 years hushing that small snippet, assuring it that change is scary and that I am happy. Content. That snippet won’t shut up anymore. In my true fashion, it hasn’t been a rousing speech or an inspirational quote which has woken me up, rather, it has been pop culture. I realized that if the TARDIS was parked outside of my house, would I hop in for a spin around the universe? Probably not. If Gandalf showed up at my door with a party of dwarves, would I gallop off on adventure? Nope, because I might miss the new Big Bang Theory.
So, I am working past the panic, the fear and the utter, mind numbing chill that comes with the thought of stepping out of my rut. It is time to look at that big world with the somewhat adventurous spirit I used to have. And hey, maybe I will find that TARDIS out there, somewhere.